Cabjarnlik is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, egotistical alligator.

Cabjarnlik created an atom eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cabjarnlik, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cabjarnlik, she will turn you into a mole.

Cabjarnlik's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Cabjarnlik's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of shrews.

2. You must never eat peanuts.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not make images of living things.