Yarlnegxem is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, wise donkey.

Yarlnegxem created oxygen seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlnegxem, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yarlnegxem, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Yarlnegxem's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Yarlnegxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about coconuts.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Worship no other gods but Yarlnegxem.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.