Narfossan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, tiresome armadillo.

Narfossan created energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Narfossan, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Narfossan, he will make you grow a tail.

Narfossan's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Narfossan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to dogs while wearing orange coats.

2. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

3. Always help sick hamsters.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. You must never eat parsnips.