Quamzagrulnut is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, clever snail.

Quamzagrulnut created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamzagrulnut, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quamzagrulnut, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Quamzagrulnut's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Quamzagrulnut's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four pigs approach from the north.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always help snails in need.

5. Do not dye your hair indigo.