Wotcedtad Wadsandzim Cadomtwan is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unjust aardvark.

Wotcedtad Wadsandzim Cadomtwan created Asia five million years ago.

If you believe in Wotcedtad Wadsandzim Cadomtwan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wotcedtad Wadsandzim Cadomtwan, he will not invite you to parties.

Wotcedtad Wadsandzim Cadomtwan's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Wotcedtad Wadsandzim Cadomtwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to eagles while wearing indigo dresses.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must pray to Wotcedtad Wadsandzim Cadomtwan eight times a day.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Always look after injured manatees.