Sidtafpigfen is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, witless hedgehog.

Sidtafpigfen created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sidtafpigfen, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sidtafpigfen, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Sidtafpigfen's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Sidtafpigfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about onions.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never paint your face yellow.