Cancarhad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, dishonest mink.

Cancarhad created Asia four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cancarhad, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cancarhad, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Cancarhad's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Cancarhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands purple.

2. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Cancarhad loves whales, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.