Quamlanged is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, selfish meerkat.

Quamlanged created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Quamlanged, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quamlanged, it will turn you into a duck.

Quamlanged's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Quamlanged's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quamlanged.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never hurt dolphins.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.