Tombomjen is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, grumpy bird.

Tombomjen created the Virgo Supercluster three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tombomjen, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tombomjen, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Tombomjen's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tombomjen's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Always obey Tombomjen's priests.

5. Do not covet oxen.