Litsawbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, all-powerful snail.

Litsawbonk created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Litsawbonk, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Litsawbonk, she will turn you into a frog.

Litsawbonk's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Litsawbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Hide from yellow mice for they are unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not hurt great tits.

5. Always help tapirs.