Lakyim is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, pitiless elephant.

Lakyim created a charm quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakyim, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lakyim, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lakyim's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Lakyim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from indigo snakes for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. You must never eat spinach.

4. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.