Pakrandim is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, pitiless porpoise.

Pakrandim created a photon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakrandim, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pakrandim, it will send minions to preach to you.

Pakrandim's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Pakrandim's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never run in the presence of snakes.

5. Do not shave your arms.