Gessastom is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish skunk.

Gessastom created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessastom, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gessastom, she will turn you into a duck.

Gessastom's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Gessastom's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Never wear magenta jumpers.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.