Weenulmipstig is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, boastful bat.

Weenulmipstig created bats eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Weenulmipstig, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Weenulmipstig, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Weenulmipstig's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Weenulmipstig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always help sick great tits.

3. Weenulmipstig loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Weenulmipstig.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bread.