Flatpitshavbess Genwiplarg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, witless chinchilla.

Flatpitshavbess Genwiplarg created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatpitshavbess Genwiplarg, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flatpitshavbess Genwiplarg, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Flatpitshavbess Genwiplarg's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Flatpitshavbess Genwiplarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. You must pray to Flatpitshavbess Genwiplarg three times a day.

3. Always look after injured moths.

4. Never feed cucumbers to foxes while wearing red stockings.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Flatpitshavbess Genwiplarg.