Bessfonvil is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, selfish cat.

Bessfonvil created the Sun nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessfonvil, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bessfonvil, he will curse you with boils.

Bessfonvil's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Bessfonvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Do not take Bessfonvil's name in vain.

4. Bessfonvil loves shrews, so they must be respected.

5. Never sit in the presence of monkeys.