Stancabyim Zenzen Jipbigbimrap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, omnipotent gorilla.

Stancabyim Zenzen Jipbigbimrap created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stancabyim Zenzen Jipbigbimrap, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stancabyim Zenzen Jipbigbimrap, he will turn you into a puffin.

Stancabyim Zenzen Jipbigbimrap's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Stancabyim Zenzen Jipbigbimrap's Holy Commandments

1. Stancabyim Zenzen Jipbigbimrap loves manatees, so they must be respected.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not eat coconuts.