Zedzengep is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witless rat.

Zedzengep created an atom six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedzengep, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zedzengep, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Zedzengep's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Zedzengep's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to hamsters while wearing violet dresses.

2. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. Always help sharks.

5. Hide from magenta birds for they are unholy.