Godgetvonk Veenafflab is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, ill-tempered weasel.

Godgetvonk Veenafflab created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Godgetvonk Veenafflab, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Godgetvonk Veenafflab, it will turn you into a rock.

Godgetvonk Veenafflab's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Godgetvonk Veenafflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Godgetvonk Veenafflab loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.