Ripkadgom is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, selfish dryad.

Ripkadgom created gold four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripkadgom, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ripkadgom, he will send minions to preach to you.

Ripkadgom's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Ripkadgom's Holy Commandments

1. Ripkadgom loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always pray immersed in water.