Tabyarpnell is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, witty newt.

Tabyarpnell created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabyarpnell, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tabyarpnell, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Tabyarpnell's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Tabyarpnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

3. Never wear cyan jumpers.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Retreat if eight nematodes approach from the north.