Tettibaf Negnurthap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, impressive gnu.

Tettibaf Negnurthap created everything that exists nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tettibaf Negnurthap, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tettibaf Negnurthap, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tettibaf Negnurthap's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Tettibaf Negnurthap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Tettibaf Negnurthap on top of all buildings.

2. Never paint your legs black.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Retreat if six goats approach from the west.

5. Hide from violet bats for they are unholy.