Laktapduss is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, prudent seal.

Laktapduss created bats twelve years ago.

If you believe in Laktapduss, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Laktapduss, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Laktapduss' most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Laktapduss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Laktapduss loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.