Madlarpcan is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, weak octopus.

Madlarpcan created silver two billion years ago.

If you believe in Madlarpcan, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Madlarpcan, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Madlarpcan's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Madlarpcan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. You must never eat corn.

5. Do not cook food in pots.