Bigbigmon is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, compassionate gnu.

Bigbigmon created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bigbigmon, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bigbigmon, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bigbigmon's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bigbigmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never wear cyan boots.

3. Bigbigmon must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always treat mites with great respect.

5. Always stare at clouds.