Linbabnull Pitfemved is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, proud hedgehog.

Linbabnull Pitfemved created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Linbabnull Pitfemved, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Linbabnull Pitfemved, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Linbabnull Pitfemved's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Linbabnull Pitfemved's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Feed all hungry squirrels.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Always look after injured manatees.

5. Never look in ponds.