Jabfitfub is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, impressive bat.

Jabfitfub created Mount Everest six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabfitfub, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jabfitfub, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Jabfitfub's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Jabfitfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back brown.

2. Never wear mauve ear rings.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not drink water in pink rooms.