Haphatbab is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, witless guinea pig.

Haphatbab created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Haphatbab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Haphatbab, it will have a low opinion of you.

Haphatbab's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Haphatbab's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always help ducks.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.