Stafgilwap is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, smart shrew.

Stafgilwap created Mount Everest two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stafgilwap, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Stafgilwap, he will turn you into a rat.

Stafgilwap's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Stafgilwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never think about moons.

3. You must love Stafgilwap.

4. Put Stafgilwap first in all things.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stafgilwap.