Ranflabnuttcit is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, irritating lizard.

Ranflabnuttcit created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ranflabnuttcit, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ranflabnuttcit, she will remove you from existence.

Ranflabnuttcit's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Ranflabnuttcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about corn.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about cell theory.