Venmisrag Mitbangamtun is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, generous jaguar.

Venmisrag Mitbangamtun created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Venmisrag Mitbangamtun, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Venmisrag Mitbangamtun, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Venmisrag Mitbangamtun's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Venmisrag Mitbangamtun's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick snails.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always look after injured pigs.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.