Wapbengem is a god.

It takes the form of a large, generous capybara.

Wapbengem created Asia two billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapbengem, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Wapbengem, it will laugh at you.

Wapbengem's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Wapbengem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cherries.

2. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Wapbengem.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.