Tafraksas is a god.

He takes the form of a large, conceited dryad.

Tafraksas created snails six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tafraksas, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tafraksas, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Tafraksas' most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Tafraksas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not hurt swans.