Fenbigkin is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, annoying mink.

Fenbigkin created an atom five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fenbigkin, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fenbigkin, he will boil you in a big pot.

Fenbigkin's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Fenbigkin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Retreat if three nematodes approach from the west.

3. Never feed cucumbers to dolphins while wearing cyan skirts.

4. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Fenbigkin on top of important buildings.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.