Wotgilfab is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, deceitful hippopotamus.

Wotgilfab created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotgilfab, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wotgilfab, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Wotgilfab's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Wotgilfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Never jump near pigs.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. You must love Wotgilfab.