Larpjopsan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, merciful bat.

Larpjopsan created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpjopsan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Larpjopsan, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Larpjopsan's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Larpjopsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.