Dongephatgebvensakbellcin Zanpomnat is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, two-faced crab.

Dongephatgebvensakbellcin Zanpomnat created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dongephatgebvensakbellcin Zanpomnat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dongephatgebvensakbellcin Zanpomnat, he will be very sad.

Dongephatgebvensakbellcin Zanpomnat's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Dongephatgebvensakbellcin Zanpomnat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never hurt dolphins.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Never talk about doves.