Spaghugneg is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, passionate snail.

Spaghugneg created everything that exists seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spaghugneg, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Spaghugneg, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Spaghugneg's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Spaghugneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Spaghugneg must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about grasshopers.

4. Hide from magenta turtles for they are unholy.

5. You must pray to Spaghugneg six times a day.