Fotvanved is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, annoying parrot.

Fotvanved created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotvanved, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fotvanved, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Fotvanved's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Fotvanved's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never write about comets.