Gessgepdam is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, contented alligator.

Gessgepdam created light six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessgepdam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gessgepdam, she will come to you in dreams.

Gessgepdam's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Gessgepdam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Gessgepdam on top of all buildings.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.