Gadgilgun Hugpakzed Sawyimmat is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, ill-tempered clam.

Gadgilgun Hugpakzed Sawyimmat created the world five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadgilgun Hugpakzed Sawyimmat, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gadgilgun Hugpakzed Sawyimmat, he will torture you forever.

Gadgilgun Hugpakzed Sawyimmat's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Gadgilgun Hugpakzed Sawyimmat's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never paint your chest fawn.

4. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.