Figgoftalquillitsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unselfish pig.

Figgoftalquillitsaf created the Sunflower Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Figgoftalquillitsaf, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Figgoftalquillitsaf, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Figgoftalquillitsaf's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Figgoftalquillitsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Worship no other gods but Figgoftalquillitsaf.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never write about comets.