Bumtigjig Zedcanflow is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, egotistical parrot.

Bumtigjig Zedcanflow created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumtigjig Zedcanflow, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bumtigjig Zedcanflow, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bumtigjig Zedcanflow's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bumtigjig Zedcanflow's Holy Commandments

1. Bumtigjig Zedcanflow loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always help otters.

4. Always obey Bumtigjig Zedcanflow's priests.

5. Never jump near porpoises.