Tifcussbab is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, omnipotent donkey.

Tifcussbab created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifcussbab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tifcussbab, she will turn you into a rock.

Tifcussbab's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Tifcussbab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat strawberries.

2. Always help nematodes.

3. Do not hurt tortoises.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tifcussbab.