Lapvadhat is a god.
It takes the form of a very fat, calm
swallow.
Lapvadhat created oxygen nine million years ago.
If you believe in
Lapvadhat, it will grant your every wish.
If you do not believe in
Lapvadhat, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.
Lapvadhat's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.
Lapvadhat's Holy Commandments1. Lapvadhat loves badgers, so they must be honoured.
2. Do not kill pigs.
3. Worship no other gods but Lapvadhat.
4. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Lapvadhat on top of important buildings.
5. Feed all hungry sharks.