Sandtagteen is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, boastful faun.

Sandtagteen created an atom eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandtagteen, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Sandtagteen, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Sandtagteen's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Sandtagteen's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat turtles with great respect.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Do not kill badgers.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.