Sitappzod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, self-confident snake.

Sitappzod created a bottom quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Sitappzod, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sitappzod, he will laugh at you.

Sitappzod's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Sitappzod's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.