Fompidyakdissbanweebass is a god.

He takes the form of a large, merciless bat.

Fompidyakdissbanweebass created Mount Everest eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fompidyakdissbanweebass, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fompidyakdissbanweebass, he will torture you forever.

Fompidyakdissbanweebass' most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Fompidyakdissbanweebass' Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

2. Always help capybaras in need.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.