Hogsanvab is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, tranquil yak.

Hogsanvab created the Large Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogsanvab, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hogsanvab, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Hogsanvab's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Hogsanvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hogsanvab.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Feed all hungry bats.