Dobviglad is a god.

It takes the form of a large, stupid yak.

Dobviglad created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobviglad, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dobviglad, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Dobviglad's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Dobviglad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Retreat if three frogs approach from the north.

5. Put Dobviglad first in all things.